November Horoscopes
ARIES
(Mar. 21- April 20)
The stars see an incredible month for you Aries. You’ve been waiting
for this since 1982. Through many hours of diligent research and sleepless
nights in scholarly analysis, you will finally discover what Willis was
talkin’ ‘bout. No, don’t try calling Mr. Drummond.
TAURUS
(Apr. 21- may 21)
Your ingenious way of doing things has caught the eye of someone in a
high position. There was some discussion last month about your potential
as a cache reviewer. Unfortunately, you caught their eye with a coat hangar
while trying to dig out a cache, and you’re off the list for good.
GEMINI
(May 22-June 21)
The stars told you last month to be tactful if you saw annoying flaws
in someone else's work, and trooper that you are, you did just that. The
stars did not, however, mean you should do so when your SUV was getting
a brake job. They recommend you stay away from any steep hills this month.
CANCER
(June 22-July 22)
If you're willing to cut loose a little you will find yourself in the
midst of an exciting encounter. It was hazy, but involves you dashing
naked around the field at a local high school football game. After that,
your life will be pretty much pre-planned for you for the next six months.
Enjoy the break.
LEO
(July 23-Aug 22)
You know you’re the best geocacher in your state, you are merely
waiting for the recognition you know you deserve. This is a critical month
for that endeavor, keep yourself focused and stay on track. It’s
important to remember that self deception is the key to your happiness.
VIRGO
(Aug. 23 -Sept. 23)
Home improvement projects will enhance your residence and bring the family
closer together. Jamming the 10,000 ammo cans you bought at the government
auction into all the rooms of your house will force a closer relationship
with your family. The stars warn you to expect an ultimatum next month
though.
LIBRA
(Sept. 24 -Oct. 23)
The stars want to know if you remember when you were in downtown Seattle
and that skinny girl who was with the bald guy in the orange shirt tripped
on the sidewalk and fell face first into the sundae she was eating? Yeah,
they thought it was pretty funny too.
SCORPIO
(Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)
This is your month. It’s all you. You go girl. You know what I’m
talking about. You’re a Scorpio, get jiggy with it.
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov. 23 -Dec. 21)
There are too many opportunities and too many changes going on. Get caught
up on your cache logs now, despite your hectic schedule. Take the time
to stop and smell the roses this month, next month your loved ones will
be dropping them into the hole with you.
CAPRICORN
(Dec 22 - Jan. 20)
The stars see a fabulous month of freedom for you Capricorn. There will
be numerous opportunities to pamper yourself, and for everyone’s
sake you should do exactly that. Just make sure they are adult sized Pampers.
AQUARIUS
(Jan. 21 -Feb. 19)
You should be careful signing important contracts this month, especially
those involving your spouse and children. Take the time to learn the terms,
Bonded Labor, Voluntary Servitude, and Conscription. If that proves too
difficult, at least make sure your name doesn’t appear anywhere
on the contract.
PISCES
(Feb. 20-Mar. 20)
The stars are fed up with you Pisces! They literally hate you now, and
are plotting against you. Minting a geocoin that says, “Aim for
the Stars!” was not in your best interest.