North, South, East and West are not as easy to figure out as Up and Down. The other guy's shortcut may be quicker and easier but yours would have been great if someone hadn't dropped a river right there.

Some hillbillies DO carry shotguns and do NOT like unexpected visitors. You can't outrun a shotgun but you can make sure the other guy is behind you.

After three cups of coffee and a bottle of water the snowsuit and three layers of sweatpants is a real bad idea.

Sticker bushes know you're there and will move to get in your way.

Very few slugs are poisonous but most of them are still icky.

North, South, East and West are not as easy to figure out as Up and Down.

"Lost" is a word you NEVER use in a group of young hikers at night.

Deer poop is stickier than you'd think.

A good Leatherman tool is useless if it's back in the car.

Duct tape and Kleenex make a rotten bandage.

Park Ranger's often have NO sense of humor.

...The same goes for WalMart security guards.

Parking on a muddy hill... in the rain... after sunset... near a river is a good way to test your underwater rescue skills.

When the sign says, "HIGH VOLTAGE" it's a good idea to NOT try and prove it wrong.

Not all things that float are waterproof. Not all things that are waterproof will float.

Most electronic equipment is neither waterproof nor floatable.

It's a bad idea to field test floatability.

Skunks don't always warn you before they spray. Don't eat it if more than three people have refused it already.

Gas station hot dogs are a bad idea no matter how many people are eating them.

Skunks don't always warn you before they spray.

Chipmunks bite.

Good-looking boots are not as important as good-fitting boots.

Very few humans are fast enough to out-run absorption in knee-deep water.

A PDA is not as useful as an old notebook when nature calls.

The other cachers will not carry the additions to your rock collection.

Friendly dogs bite.

A backpack is a seat cushion only when the breakables are removed.

Dry feet and warm socks halfway through the hike are more important than you'd ever dream at the start of the hike.

The fuel gauge on other people’s cars is not as reliable as your own.

"EMPTY" means empty.

Gas is never cheaper in the woods.

RV users will not always properly mark the waste-water outlet. Remember that before you try and steal some gas.

If you carry your kid in one of those backpack arrangements ... duck a little lower next time.

Grouchy two-year-olds bite.

It really will break if you keep playing with it.

There is a limit to every driver's patience. It's a bad idea to look for it.

A good walking stick is often left behind at some point in its career.

Never park near a stripped car.

The raggedy guy looking through the trash cans is probably not geocaching. Don't make eye contact.

Flatulence is not nearly as hysterical now as it was when you were outside the car. Very few caches are hidden in prisons. Recheck the coordinates.

After your third request your fellow cachers will announce that they have no more extra batteries.

GameBoy, CD player, GPSr ... only one will help you find the cache.

Flatulence is not nearly as hysterical now as it was when you were outside the car.

No matter what: Mom is always right. ... and when Mom is happy, everybody is happy. (Okay, so my father did teach me that one... it just took me seventeen years of marriage to learn.)