Ohio is flat. Arkansas isn't. So?

So? It makes a difference! Being born, raised and living in a state that has some of the flattest terrain you'll ever see, I get all giddy when I see a hill. I am downright ecstatic over a mountain. But to be honest, I can't tell you at which point a hill becomes a mountain. Since Mount Riante contains a majority of the letters in the word "mountain," I'm going to say I've climbed a mountain, even if it's just a hill. I don't even want to know if Arkansans consider it a hill. Ignorance is bliss.

In June of 2004, I joined a friend in Hot Springs, Ark., for a few days' visit with her at her parents' home. I properly prepared for my trip there by printing out a few choice caches that were located near their house. My girlfriend isn't a cacher, but I had to do some caching there just so I could say I'd been caching in Arkansas and well, just because I like caching. When U Tell Me! showed up as one of the caches being fairly close by, I was exhilarated at the idea of finding a cache at the top of a mountain and having to actually climb it to get there!

Not having been to Arkansas before, I was not familiar with the native creatures that live there. My girlfriend's father informed me that there were snakes. Rattlesnakes. And copperheads. As I lay awake the night before possibly attempting the hike up Mount Riante, I thought about this snake thing. For just a little bit, I thought maybe doing this cache wasn't a good idea. I don't like snakes. I don't know what I would do if I came across one. Scream like a girl, probably, since I am a girl. But people in Arkansas climb the mountains there, don't they? Then so could I. If I saw a snake, I'd just ... I'd just ... well, I'd figure that out if and when it happened.

My girlfriend's father, Ken, was quite interested in this caching thing, and when I told him which ones I wanted to do, he was more than happy to chauffeur me to them. We were up a little earlier than the rest of the household, so we set out, but needed to be back by a certain time for a luncheon in town. We knocked off two easy caches, and when we looked at the time, Ken said, "Do you want to at least look at Mount Riante? We've got enough time to go by there." Well, of COURSE I did! Halfway there, he said, "I'd hate to taunt you by just taking you there and not letting you attempt it." I looked at him and said, "If it looks doable with the time we've got, you want to try it?" He just smiled. A little bit later, he parked the truck and we were on our way up the mountain.

Funny how that mountain didn't look that steep. And it didn't look like it got steeper as we ascended higher, either. At a little more than the halfway point, Ken said he'd wait on me if I wanted to go the rest of the way up, since he had some health issues that dictated he take a rest. He told me to yell down to him when I started back down the mountain. I continued up the mountain, because gee, it was only about 150 feet more to go! There was my first lesson about caching on non-level terrain. 150 feet at a 45-degree incline is NOT the same as 150 feet on the plains of Ohio. It's not even close. It makes you sweat a lot if you aren't used to climbing. It also turns your legs into Jell-O, and makes your heart pound so hard you can audibly hear it. Maybe the snakes can, too, and they slither out of your way when they hear you coming because I never saw even one.

About forty feet from my goal, the dirt turned into rock. Hmmmm... Go around, or climb up? Being short on time, I decided to take the direct route. That was fun. I'd never climbed a rock wall before. Okay, so maybe it wasn't a WALL (yet), but there was an awful lot of rock, making the climb much more difficult, but I didn't have time to zigzag around it. Man, I hate caching with a time limit!

Then I had a revelation. Just because the GPS says you're on top of the cache, the cache could be on top of you. Finally, I reached a ledge where I couldn't ascend any further because NOW the rock face went straight up, and it didn't matter anyway, because my little yellow eTrex said I was THERE! And the hint said to go to the flat rock overlook. It was rock, it was flat, and it had an overlook of the valley! I was in the right place! I looked in all the little nooks and crannies available to place a cache, and understood why it was a micro. There weren't that many little cracks or crevices where a cache could be placed, even a micro. Now I will have to say that I was a bit disappointed to climb all that way only to be looking for a micro, but hey, the view was fabulous!

I cleaned that ledge off. I mean, you could have eaten lunch off that ledge by the time I got done with it, it was that clean. No cache. Seriously. I descended a little bit, and went back at it again with the GPS, and sure enough, that's where it should have been. But it wasn't. Then I had a revelation. Just because the GPS says you're on top of the cache, the cache could be on top of you.

Nooooooooooooo! Yes. I looked up and about 20 feet directly above me was another flat rock overlook, and I couldn't get to it. I didn't have rock climbing gear (not that I'd know what to do with it), and I'd run out of time to descend a bit and take a more lateral approach. So, I snapped a few pictures of the beautiful view, reluctantly began the descent, and faced the fact that I would have to post a DNF.

Going down the mountain wasn't nearly as much fun as going up, although it didn't take me nearly as long. Of course, when you slide part of the way down, that does take some time off your trip. I rejoined Ken, who was a little concerned, because he didn't hear me yell when I started back down, and it had been quite awhile since he'd seen me last. He asked me how I got all that dirt on the back of my shirt, so I guess he didn't see me fall, either. I recounted the second half of the climb to him, and though he and I were both disappointed that I didn't find the cache, I was rather proud of my accomplishment of climbing that mountain anyway. It was my first!

My husband and I will be returning to Hot Springs in April of this year, and we'll do Mount Riante together. This time, I'll be smarter about it. I'm an "experienced" mountain climber now. This time, I'll find the cache. And maybe I'll even get to see a snake.