This month will be so hectic. What with the moon over here and Mercury over there, it'll be a tough month for geocache predictions. I won't even mention where Jupiter was seen last or what it was seen doing. But don't worry, the stars and I gave it our best shot.
Aries (March 20-April 19) No one understands you or how much you suffer for your art, the sweat, the toil, the tears of exhausted frustration, and the long sleepless nights. To them, it's just another ammo can painted in camouflage colors.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) You crave stability. It is imperative to your hobby and your way of life that all things are unwavering in their stance and resolve. But there you are, again, on your butt in the mud.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) The stars see you rapidly increasing your numbers this month. You might even double your find count! Unfortunately, the stars wouldn't say if it was geocaches or embedded ticks that you'll be finding.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) You and a rival have a common cause. You'll be unknowingly working together to accomplish a mutual goal, and succeeding beyond all expectations. What you don't know is that the aspiration you both share is the affection of your spouse.
Leo July (23-August 22) It's tempting to close the book on a repeat DNF and to simply wash your hands of the cache forever. The stars think you should keep trying. They were snickering when they said it though.
Virgo (August 23-September 22) You've always been there for others. Now it's time to get some return on your generosity. Gather up all your friends and relatives who owe you favors and compel them to find that difficult cache on your list. Become familiar with the term "at gunpoint".
Libra (September 23-October 22) You felt a certain situation would resolve of its own volition if only you left it to work itself out. I got news for you, that never works with geocaching.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21) Feelings change. If something doesn't feel the same today as it did yesterday, don't obsess over it. If people see you running your hands over a cache container in that manner, they may have you committed.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) After months of wandering, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Next time leave your travel plans with a trusted friend or relative.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19) There's nothing like a change in routine for refreshing perspective. But next time you change your routine, make sure you leave "getting dressed" up there at the top.
Aquarius (January 20-February 17) Gather all your geocaching gear together, your GPS receiver, your stamp, your pack and all the contents. Then throw it all in the trash. Sorry to break it to you but that's what the stars are saying.
Pisces (February 18-March 19) There's a new rumor about you making its way through the geocaching community and it's plenty embarrassing.
