I think everyone has heard about the steroid scandal involving some of the biggest stars of Major League Baseball, but I have it on very unreliable sources that the steroid scandal may soon involve some of the areas top geocachers.

All names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

Geocaching started in the north state just a few short years ago. Back then, if a cacher found 50 caches in a year, they were considered to be at the top of their game. The current geocachers have to compete with teams compiling over one thousand finds in a year!

I don't know for sure if these cachers are using performance-enhancing substances or not, but one of the top stars of the area recently testified to the grand jury that he may have inadvertently used steroids. Yes, the great "Bee-oh" said he was given hand cream for his geo-chapped hands by "Physician", another cacher who was, most likely, also on steroids. Groundspeak, the owners of the geocaching web site, are investigating to see if disciplinary action is required. "MikieMe", acting as spokesman for the RGCDS group, said that "Bee-oh" could be stripped of his caches or an asterisk may be placed beside his records.

"Pootypuddies" and "Road Skwill" had no comment. When asked if anyone knew if these rumors are true, "86Pops86" said, "Yes, someone knows".

Some of the other top geocachers are now under a cloud of suspicion, including "Salty Dogs Folks", "Tiny Lucifer", and "Vary & Gicky". The leading N.U.T.S. geocacher in total finds, "YfbCranky", is suspected of being a long-time user after his birth certificate revealed he is only 17 years old and appears to be at least twice that age. One of the side affects of steroids is premature aging. It is unclear if "Stone & Waterford", the team chasing "YfbCranky", are involved in the scandal.

Now is the time to gain control of the situation. It is rumored that Groundspeak is pushing for mandatory drug testing. The cachers' union is reluctant to give up their rights. One way or another, this problem has to be addressed. Potentially, steroids could destroy the N.U.T.S. and other organizations. I, for one, would feel terrible if that happened.

This story was contributed to by "D.stroy", "Instructor mommy", "Wynr", and the "Escapees".