The moons of Saturn in Taurus encourage emotional stability; at least as far as puzzle caches are concerned. The idiot in the Saturn ION who’s been signaling a left turn for 35 miles or the moron in the Ford Taurus who keeps slamming on the brakes is your problem. February is also the month of love, what with Groundhog Day and all. Take advantage of romantic mood this month and hide an appropriately themed geocache.

Aries(March 21-April 19). Hit the gym! You need to get into shape. Try a few miles on the treadmill. Ignore the peculiar looks from the others there; you just keep right on walking with that ammo can in your right hand and GPS in your left.

Taurus (April 20-May 20). You should attempt to become more acquainted with your feminine side. Reach out to a woman in your local community; they will help you find it. Just keep your hands to yourself this time.

Gemini(May 21-June 21). You are the ringleader of your geocaching team. You also juggle tasks like a clown, tame ferocious thorn bushes like a lion tamer, and shout commands like a midway barker. You’re just a whole freaking circus wrapped up in one carcass.

Cancer(June 22-July 22). The best defense is a good offense, and the element of surprise is your number one weapon. However, if you keep blasting everyone out of the car with ill-timed flatulence, you’ll find yourself caching alone.

Leo(July 23-Aug. 22). Tai chi, meditation and yoga might well be the spiritual edge you need to be “First to Find” on that new mystery cache. Sadly, your booze-for-breakfast policy will negate any advantage you might have enjoyed.

Virgo(Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You claim to be a lover, not a fighter. Well the stars have some advice for you Romeo: you can’t love your way out a thick patch of raspberry bushes.

Libra(Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Take the month off from geocaching and better yourself, or take the month off from bettering yourself and go geocaching. Ok, you can’t take a month off for anything so just keep doing what you were already doing.

Scorpio(Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Learn to laugh at your mistakes; the incessant chuckling will annoy the heck out of everyone.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). A teammate or friend is stretching his or her wings, experimenting with inward directed personal power within the fluid group dynamic. You need to encourage this person! Encourage them to take up heavy drinking or illicit drugs.

Capricorn(Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The doorways to success are always open. If one door seems inaccessible, move on to the next. If the lid on that ammo-can will not yield to your superior intellect and brute strength, you’ll have to resort to a cutting torch or sledgehammer.

Aquarius(Jan. 20-Feb. 18). The stars see a teammate making his or her affections known to you. Before you make any commitments, first determine whether or not that person will be an asset to your geocaching, or a hindrance. Well, unless there’s a pregnancy involved.

Pisces(Feb. 19-March 20). The stars see great savings for you this month. Look for the newspaper circulars and listen closely to the television advertisements. Presidents Washington and Lincoln longed for the day their birthdays would be remembered this way.