I came up with a great idea for a cache and was telling my good buddy and fellow cacher, Hawk-eye, about it. He was all excited and couldn't wait for it to be placed and posted. So, me and the wife set off to hide it at a nearby lake. We decided to take our bikes and place it about a mile from the parking area.

Now, my wife always takes a backpack with her whenever we go caching. You guys know how much stuff a woman can put in her purse? Well, imagine, if you will, how much she can stick in a backpack! There are things in there to cover every possible scenario that might pop up. Got a sprained ankle? No problem, she has an ace bandage. Lost in the woods at night? Her handy little flashlight has you covered. Even an emergency strobe light so rescuers can see you from above. I mean, she has mosquito spray, toilet paper, first aid kit, water, food, several knives (I wonder about this), a six-room tent and a generator to power the electric skillet she brought!

Now, this pack must weigh 200 or 300 lbs. I made the mistake one time of trying to pick it up and spent the next month doing bi-weekly visits to my Chiropractor. How in the world she manages to walk or ride a bike with this thing strapped to her back is beyond me. I mean, she's only five foot three inches and weighs...(you don't think I'm stupid enough to guess her weight do you?).

Anyway, we get the bikes out of the back of the truck, she struggles to get her pack on, and off we go.There she was, in the ditch full of weeds, laying flat on her back with that big pack on her. She was floundering around like a turtle that had been flipped upside down trying to right itself. The first hundred yards or so of the path is downhill and you sorta zoom right down the path. When I reached the bottom of the hill, I glanced back to see where my wife was. She wasn't there. So, I looked back up the hill and saw her bike laying in the middle of path about seventy five yards back. I could see the bike, but she was nowhere in sight. I debated pedaling back and seeing what happened to her, but hey, that's seventy five yards up hill on a hot day!

I sat there on my bike staring back up the hill wondering where she had went. I was beginning to get a little ticked off. She knew we needed to get this cache placed and she was probably goofing off somewhere. Then again, maybe she was abducted by aliens. We've all heard the stories; it's possible you know. As I sat there pondering whether to go on without her, I spied movement in the ditch next to the path. Yep, it was her.

There she was, in the ditch full of weeds, laying flat on her back with that big pack on her. She was floundering around like a turtle that had been flipped upside down trying to right itself. I yelled back at her.

"Stop screwing around. You know Hawk-eye is waiting for us to place this cache."
"Could you help me out of here?" she yells back.

I could have pedaled back there, but as I have previously pointed out, it was seventy five yards uphill on a hot day. So, I did the next best thing.

"You know that ditch is full of snakes!" I yelled back (she's terrified of snakes).

That seemed to do the trick. She renewed her efforts to get on her feet and out of the ditch. Her arms and legs were churning like a windmill. It was a sight to behold. There wwere weeds, grass, leaves and small critters flying all over the place! She finally managed to right herself and crawl out of the ditch. She limped over to her bike and picked it up, turned the handle bars back in the right direction and rode down to where I was.

"Why didn't you help me?" She asked while glaring at me.

I was totally perplexed. I thought I had.

To make a long story short, sleeping on the couch isn't too bad. At least you can watch T.V. In case you're wondering, she was okay. She limped around for a few days, but nothing serious.